INTRODUCTION:
My spirit is restless. It has always been since the beginning of May, when the little money I brought along with me had been exhausted. I contacted friends in Tripoli, with the inclusion of my immediate superior, Dr. Shabous, the Libyan head of the English Department of the college where I worked as assistant lecturer. Most of them were urging me to go back to Tripoli and resume my job. And since May, I had made plans to return but the Philippine government's policy of a travel ban for Libya has stopped me, and all other OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) bound for that North African country, from going back.
It’s now July, the third month of my stay in the Philippines. I must admit that my heart has a certain longing for that place where, in the not so distant past, I made a new beginning for myself and for my family…. Why did it have to end so soon?.... Somehow, there is an ambiguous feeling within me about what happened to Libya. I feel the need to share this journal as a means of purging my thoughts in the hope that I would be able to bring out the essential things which would guide me to fulfill my dreams for my family and me.
PART ONE – THE AWAKENING OF LIBYA ….WOE TO TRANQUILITY #1
February 21, 2011 – Monday
I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of gunshots. At first I thought they were just fire crackers. Libyans normally use them when celebrating weddings, and they do it even in the middle of the night. But there was an eerie silence after the shots which made me realize that the sound was not what I thought it was. I asked myself:” Has the uprising in Benghazi reached Tripoli already?” I prayed the rosary and it lulled me to sleep….
At 7:00 AM, the continuous ringing of my mobile phone woke me up. Kiko, a Filipino IT (Information Technology) lecturer was on the line. He was in Zletin, a small town two hours away from Tripoli, where his family resides. He asked if there were gunshots heard in Tripoli because it was in the news (I don’t have radio nor television). After confirming it, he told me that anti-government demonstrators in Saha Qadra (The Green Square, an important landmark at the center of the city) were fired at. He asked me if classes were suspended and when I told him that I just woke up, he told me to wait for his next call before doing anything else. He called up his boss, the head of the Computer Department, and was informed that classes were suspended in our college. He then gave instructions to stock up on food and water, to be home before nightfall, to secure doors and windows before going to sleep, and NOT to open up to strangers.
As I followed Kiko’s instructions, I was telling myself to be brave because I was about to face difficult situations alone from then on. Kiko had always been with me since my Day 1 in Libya. We went through all the joys and pains which our one and a half years of stay in Libya had seen us through and being in the middle of the Libyan conflict without him by my side was something I was not prepared to handle.
In December 2010, Kiko’s wife, Thel along with their two toddlers arrived in Tripoli. Thel was hired as an IT lecturer at the Misurata University. They decided to live in Zletin which is midway between Tripoli and Misurata because there were other Filipinos residing in the same building who could look after the kids when they’re not around, even if there was a Nigerian nanny attending to them. Because of this set up, Kiko had his schedule fixed so that his classes would be only on Wednesdays and Thursdays. He would be in Tripoli on Tuesday evenings and would be back to Zletin on Thursday afternoon. So I am basically alone in my flat from Thursday evening until Tuesday morning. This was our set up when the revolt began.
February 22, 2011 – Tuesday
Just like the previous night, the sound of gunshots woke me up. My clock registered the time at 2:00 AM. It came in a burst and was gone after fifteen minutes…. then the dreadful silence. I prayed my rosary, offering it for peace in Libya and safety for all the Pinoys( slang for Filipinos) there.
At around 5:00 AM, Ate Baby (an English lecturer assigned in Kohms, a city one and a half hours drive from Tripoli) called up. She asked if I got the emergency numbers of the Philippine Embassy which was passed around thru the SMS. She also told me that she had a phone conversation with Madam (the owner of the agency that deployed us). She was advised to go home to the Philippines because the situation in Libya is already critical. The repatriation process of Filipinos in Libya has begun. Ate Baby asked me if I would go home and I said I was not sure because I didn’t have the money yet to pay off all my remaining debts. She said she didn’t have money too, but she believed that her life is far more important than whatever money she could get by staying in Libya. It was also her family’s decision. She asked me to think about it.
The conversation with Ate Baby, who is like an elder sister to me, got me into thinking: “Is this really happening?”…. Just last week I was telling my daughter on Skype not to worry because the problem in Benghazi (which was shown on television worldwide) was an isolated case, just like the conflict in Mindanao in southern Philippines which is very far from Metro-Manila where my family resides; that the troubled area is very far from Tripoli; and that the majority of the people in Libya are loyal to Moammar Ghadaffi, the Great Leader. I also told her that the demonstrations staged at Saha Qadra were pro-government, to show the world that the Libyan people were united in their support of the regime. It was also their way to disprove the allegation that Libya would follow the trend which Egypt and Tunisia had set in the Arab world. I was at Saha Qadra on February 18 and witnessed the start of one such rally. It had a festive air and the atmosphere was not at all threatening.
On February 20, I had my last lecture with my students at the College. I wanted to know how they felt about the situation but they were evasive when asked. They just warmed up when I shared to them the Philippine experience of the People Power Revolution in 1986. I told them that the Filipinos revolted because the country’s First Family was living in lavish lifestyle while majority of the people were living below the poverty level. My students said that it was just like in Egypt and Tunisia. They also told me that it‘s not like that in their country. Here the people have free housing, free hospitalization, free education, and subsidized prices for food and other basic necessities. They could not understand why some people are revolting …..It all seemed so far away now.
February 23, 2011 – Wednesday
At midnight, Ate Baby called up and told me that she already made a decision to leave and was just waiting for the taxi driver who would bring her and another companion to Tripoli. She informed me that all inquiries and arrangement for travel are coursed through the embassy. DFA-Manila (Department of Foreign Affairs) had given directives to the embassy to evacuate all Filipinos in Libya. She also said that all other embassies had already repatriated their citizens and that the Philippine office is one of the few which are still open.
At 2:30 AM, Kiko texted. In his message, he said that he and Thel had already decided not to go home. He reasoned out that they could not risk bringing the kids to Tripoli, passing through different checkpoints (there are 10 from Zletin to Tripoli), thereby increasing the length of travel time. He said that they would stay in Zletin whatever happens, and if they die, they would die as a family. This made me cry. I didn’t know what to tell him. And in times like this, when words seemed too difficult to express, I turned to my rosary and prayed. Somehow my spirit became calm.
At 7:00AM, Bok (my pet name for Kiko which I interpreted as little boss; that’s what he also calls me privately) rang me up. He asked me about my decision. I told him that my children, whom I always talked to at Skype, wanted me to go home. He said that he would respect whatever decision I make. He reiterated their decision to stay in Zletin, together with seven other Filipino lecturers working in that area. Then, he gave instructions to pack his things, secure his documents, and bring the latter with me to the Philippines. He also asked me to contact his daughters in his hometown and turn over his papers to them. I was crying while listening to him. It was like listening to his last farewell.
Bok texted me at about 2:30 PM, he seemed desperate. He thanked me for the friendship I shared with him in Libya. He also stated that he learned many things in our journey together. He asked me to be strong in order to face the journey ahead, which he could no longer share with me. He mentioned in the text that he was crying while making the message because he was worried about the two kids. He and Thel could face any problem together but the young ones are very vulnerable. And he just didn’t know what to do.
Again, the message made me cry. Knowing that he was the source of strength to his group in Zletin, I sent him the following message: “Courage, Bok. Let’s lift everything to God. If ever I would decide to go, I would wait for you for as long as I can. If not, I’ll contact Ches (his eldest daughter) and do as you requested. I’m with you in prayers. Take care and God bless you.”
I started packing Kiko’s things late in the afternoon. I was crying while doing it, remembering the time in July 2010 when we were about to take our vacation in the Philippines. He volunteered to pack my things to economize on space in my luggage. He did it so well that we even made joke about what a great “packer” he was…. Gosh! He’s been gone only for five days but it seemed to be a long time already. I miss him so terribly.
At 6:00 PM, I received a text message from Bok telling me that he and Thel are making their last stand in Zletin with their kids; that if they would die, they die as a family. At that point, I realized that we both needed some cheering up so I sent him this message: “Please don’t talk about death yet. I’m still hopeful that the dark clouds over Libya would pass. Be brave. Be the source of strength to everyone there. I’m with you in prayers. God bless.”
After packing Kiko’s things, I called up Dr. Shabous. Until now, I wasn’t sure yet whether I would go home to the Philippines or stay, so I asked my boss for advice. He told me to wait for at least three days before deciding. He said he didn’t want the department to miss me. This gave me a warm feeling.
I informed Bok about my talk with Dr. S . I also told him that one reason why I was already considering going home was because I would like to speak in behalf of the Filipinos who would be left behind. I just believe that somebody who has been in Libya can eloquently tell the people in the Philippines why they need to change their policy (about the travel ban). Whatever happens next is God’s will. In parting, I gave him this message: LET US TRUST OUR TODAY’S AND TOMORROWS TO THE ONE WHO HOLDS ETERNITY IN HIS HANDS.
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